Fountain, a Nigerian IT professional based in Dubai, spent seven whole years navigating the bureaucratic maze of getting a driving licence in the UAE. Since then, he has treaded Dubai’s roads, which he finds superior, with his treasured Mitsubishi Pajero(s). Still, he’s wary of tricky exits, sometimes aggressive drivers and the ever-watchful speed cameras which he has fallen victim to a number of times. Oh, and if he had his way, he’d never drive in nearby Sharjah again because ‘it’s the zoo!’
Describe your first driving experience
Oh wow, this was a long time ago. They will start trying to make calculations on how old I am. I drove in Afikpo, my hometown in Nigeria. It’s the second largest town in Ebonyi State. I drove a V-Boot 190 which was my brother’s car at the time.
I actually was not taught how to drive. I just got into the car and went off. Needless to say that in a very short time, I had the experiences that people that did learn how to drive have. So I got in a couple of crashes and got scratches on the car. Even though I never hit anybody, I had a very good relationship with trees and a little bit of the fence of the house. Well, you know, nothing major. When I finally got my licence, I then drove in Port Harcourt and Lagos and those were very different experiences.
How difficult was it to get a driving licence when you moved to Dubai?
It was quite difficult. It’s actually typical for non-Westerners who do driving tests here and don’t pay for the VIP package to fail a couple of times. With the VIP, you pay a lot of money upfront and you are almost certain to get the licence, except if you’re just incredibly horrible at the whole business of driving.
This then tells you that when people don’t get it, it’s not usually because they don’t know how to drive. I drove for many years before I came to Dubai and so, to not be able to get a driving licence for that long, it didn’t make sense. Especially because I’m generally a very careful driver, mostly described as ‘grandpa’ on the road, both here and in Nigeria.
So, how many times did you do the test before you finally got the licence?
So, mine was quite interesting. I think I did about four times officially, but what happened was because I was a self-sponsored student, when I failed, I didn’t rush back into doing it. Instead, I took the time off and tried again. But, maybe by the time I went back, my file had expired and had to be renewed. And then when you renew it, you have to take a few more classes before you can do the test and you have to pay for the classes. That went on for seven years.
Wawu
Of course, I was not doing it right away. That was the whole reason. So, when I graduated from college and started working then I had money to just get out of it. It was my first project as a working professional to get the driving licence.
What exactly was the process like?
So, you do the driving school, they have a series of tests including the theory test and then the parking test. And when you pass the parking test, then there is the road test which is done within the driving school compound. They call that one the assessment. When you pass that, then you’re now qualified to do the RTA Road Test which is the final one. I actually heard now that they’ve thrown in some night driving tests, which was not part of it in my day.
Anyway, I eventually figured out what needed to happen and then somebody said to me—I don’t know how true that is—that I have to forget everything I thought I knew about driving in Nigeria. I just tried the way they say you should drive because they had a specific template that you needed to fit into. So, when I eventually followed their template and was nice to them, then I passed the institutional test. And then, right away, I went for the RTA test and passed. I’m still not sure what happened in my case, because I know some Nigerians who tried and got their licences almost immediately. There’s also the whole theory of how you’re more likely to get the licence during Ramadan, because they’re required to be nicer then.
What kind of car did you look out for when you finally started driving in Dubai?
So after I drove my brother’s car in Nigeria, I drove an Altima in Nigeria. But shortly after that, I decided I didn’t want to drive a salon anymore or a sedan. I just didn’t like it. So I’ve only driven SUVs since then. I prefer the lift of SUVs, but also a lot of the sedans have what I call bucketed feet that kind of curve your feet upward when you slide in your seat, and I just did not like that experience.
I think part of the reason is that I always had a stomach pain sitting in a small car and driving it. And so I needed that lift on the seat. But I also like the lift from the ground, so I don’t have to worry about any scratches on the road or the speed bumps. And I also want to feel like I own the road and if you hit me, you know, we have to figure out who had the most damage. So since then, I’ve driven cars that have a stronger build, mostly the Mitsubishi Pajero. I really like Pajero a lot. I think I’ve owned about four Pajeros. Now I’m on my 4th one, a 2020 Pajero. I keep changing it as they update the car with better features. This might be my last Pajero, but I’m not quite sure. Let’s see. I’ve also owned a Volkswagen Touareg and I got my wife a Range Rover.
What’s the process of getting a car like in Dubai, in terms of payment structure?
Depends on what you have. If you want to pay cash, you pay cash. If you want to use a bank payment process, you can. I know a lot of places don’t accept credit card payments, but I think some people can just swipe their credit cards as well and pay for a car, especially if it is used and you’re buying it from a dealership, or even if it’s a new one and you’re buying from a dealership. I have always paid cash except for this last one.
That’s because I just don’t think that something that is depreciating in value is worth paying interest on. That’s my general take on cars, except for this one [the 2020 Pajero] that was a necessity and my cash was tied in in another investment that I didn’t want to pull it out of. So, I (loan) financed it and think it’s actually a good deal because I don’t even know that I’m paying for a car, right? It feels like you’re driving a free car. Because again, I don’t buy new cars. I never buy new cars.
Where do you prefer to get your cars sourced from?
From here actually. I prefer to drive with the specs for the UAE. I’ve not bought an American spec either, except for the Touareg. I generally just buy what is meant for the region because the ACs are calibrated better to work with the heat in this place and the specs also deal with the wear and tear associated with the temperature here. They’re designed for this place. I actually always buy a used car from someone I know, or from a single user.
I did buy the Range from someone I didn’t know at all, but he was a professional who was willing to just get rid of the car because his wife wanted the newer model and my wife did not want the newer model because she thought it was ugly. So, I went for the last phase of the older design and the guy wanted to get rid of it, so we had a really good deal. But this latest Pajero I got from an authorised reseller.
What’s the best part of driving in Dubai?
Dubai has one of the finest road infrastructures in the world. I mean, I’ve driven in US cities and states like Lansing, Detroit, Miami, Maryland, Virginia and California. And still, none of them match the UAE’s roads for me.
Did you use your UAE licence to drive in the US?
Yes, absolutely. I initially thought I needed to get an international driving licence, but it turned out I didn’t. When I needed to rent, I just gave them my UAE licence and they gave me the car. I’ve never been required to present an international licence. Even my Nigerian licence, I don’t know where it is, so it’s my UAE licence I use to drive in Nigeria as well.
What’s something to look out for when driving in Dubai?
The road signs are not perfect yet, so if you miss a road sign at an exit, it will take you a while to find your way back. Exits are really tricky in Dubai. Look out for the cameras. They are always there to get you. So, you can’t just do what you like. In Dubai, there is no policeman that will come after you. They will just take your photo and send you the bill later.
Another thing to look out for is that people generally don’t adhere to road courtesy here; they’re not nice. Of course, when you’re comparing it to Nigeria, that’s a whole other conversation. But yes, here for instance, when you’re reaching the end of a road and need to merge into the next road, you see the guy going hard knowing that the next thing you’re going to do is run into the bush. But they won’t stop, so you have to slow down and let them go. And people happily get into your lane and then get mad at you for being mad that they got into your lane. So, I think a lot of road etiquette isn’t observed in Dubai.
What does road rage look like there?
People get mad and honk hard at you. They get behind you and they flash at you to get you to leave the speed lane. And even when you’re not on the speed lane, if they’re just fast and you’re slow and they feel like they can’t be bothered to change the lane, they will flash at you to get off. Some are usually a lot more aggressive that they feel like they’re going to hit you. But the thing is in the UAE, if you hit someone from behind, it’s your fault. So, they won’t hit you from behind, but sometimes you see them go off, overtake you and come in front of you and slam the brake. And so in that case, you become the one that’s culpable.
I’ve seen people go full on…park their cars and throw a few punches and, well, both of them were arrested as one would expect. It really ranges. But, I think it’s the bad look, the bad eye that they give you that’s the most pronounced road rage that I know of here. And then people just use their horns very freely and generously. But hm, Sharjah is a whole different place. Sharjah is a zoo. I don’t want to go there. I don’t go there.
So, would you say Sharjah is the worst city you’ve driven in?
No, of course Lagos! What are you talking about? When did Sharjah start? It has to be Lagos of course. Driving in Tbilisi, Georgia was also hard because the roads are narrow and they drive on the wrong side. The cars are small and people don’t care about the body of their cars. You can see someone waking up in the morning and just screwing off all his bumper and putting it in the trunk, because there’s no point in driving with your bumper since it’s going to be scratched all day. At least, in Lagos, people care about their cars.
What’s the traffic situation like in Dubai?
Don’t go anywhere close to Sharjah; anywhere Sharjah-bound has a lot of traffic. Avoid Deira and Marina as well. The traffic congestion is becoming more and more now because the city is full. The longest I’ve been stuck in traffic is about 2 hours, and that was because it was on New Year’s Eve around the Burj Khalifa area, so it doesn’t really count. But in general, my trip has been delayed by 30 minutes before. My wife has it worse because of her route (Jumeirah – Knowledge Village) going to work in the morning and coming back in the evening; she typically gets about an hour of delay.
Where’s the best place to drive at night?
I love the Jumeirah Beach Rd. Even if I’m confronted with traffic at night, it’s a beautiful drive so I enjoy it. The Al Khail Rd is sweet to drive at night. I mean, it’s a lot of people but it’s also fun to drive. Al Wasl Rd is good and you’re less likely to get traffic. Anything Jebel Ali-bound, so going south in Dubai, is usually free at night until you get closer to the Marina interface and it gets trickier.
If you had an unlimited budget, what car would you rent for a day?
Any of the Rolls Royces, but mostly the four-wheel drive Rolls Royce SUV. There’s also a four-wheel drive Bentley SUV I’d like to try. I’m generally very conservative with driving, but I’d like to speed with a car in Germany. I’d love to rent a BMW X6 and drive it on the Autobahn over there.
